March

It is March....and every moment of every day is spent wondering....
What if?
What if my baby Leah were alive, in my arms....
What if I could hold her, hug her, snuggle her, kiss her....
What if this was all a bad dream....

These days are hard for me. Really hard. Many of my dear friends are pregnant and I am so happy for them. But it also makes my heart ache. My tears flow...for myself, and my loss, for my baby girl I will never get to hold. I wondered how this month would be for me. And now that it is here, I can honestly say it SUCKS!! I hate it...I wonder if I will always hate March.

And I also wonder if I will be a mama again. If I will be pregnant again. Not too sure. I just don't know if I can put my heart out their again. I am just too scared. AND yet, I trust the plans God has for me....but I wish they didn't hurt so much!!!

Remembering today....



My sweet baby girl, Leah Faith....with all my heart, all my soul, all my being.