Feeling sad...feeling weepy...

Tonight I sit here...with a sadness in my heart. The same sadness I feel everyday...yet today it is creeping up....into my evening....my normal energy and enthusiasm is not keeping my sadness hidden. I know my girl is in heaven...I can only imagine the joy and peace she feels....but darn it...I want her here with me. I want her enjoying the lights on the tree...I want to be dressing my 3 girls in matching dresses...I want to be kissing her sweet face....and I know one day I will...but it is so hard to wait...so hard to wonder...so hard to trust...so hard to be patient. I want her here today!! My sweet Leah Faith Davis ~ you are the only gift I want for Christmas. And yet, as I feel as though I am sinking....losing my focus, my faith, I am constantly reminded to fix my eyes upon the Lord and TRUST in Him, TRUST in His purpose, Trust in His path....Trust in His GLORY!!! Trust that He know the plans He has for me....knows the plans for my family...my heart...my womb...my babies....I pray that the God of all hope may give me the strength to fix my eyes on HIM, focus on the purpose of this season...the real meaning of Christmas....I pray that when my hearts starts to weep that I will find the peace that comes from being in the moment...being with my girls...enjoying the beauty of this month...this season...this year....my baby girl....