Monday, October 13, 2008

The road we travel...

Do you ever wonder how you ended up on this you ever look back at your life and try to pick out the turns...the lane changes the interstates that you hopped on...that took you to the road you are traveling??

I do....all the time....I wonder, how did I get here...what stops did I miss by taking this road...who would I have run into if I had stayed on that interstate...or exited at a different exit...or turned left instead of right. I am so thankful for my life...yet it comes with sacrifices...a daughter I will never know...a brother who I will never talk to...a dad who is lost to me forever... and yet despite the pain of a stillbirth, a suicide, an alcohol induced death...I am thankful! Thankful for what I do have!! I have two of the most amazing parents, who love me to the ends of the earth...and more importantly who love my husband and children to the ends of the earth as well. I am so grateful that I can call them my best friends. I have the most amazingly loving, supportive, nurturing, patient, involved husband and father of my three amazing girls. I have the three most fabulous daughters who love me for being me and accept me for my goofiness and quirkiness!! I have 2 brothers who pick me up when I am down...who rescue me when I need rescuing...who carry me when I need carrying....and then I have my family by marriage. They have loved me and accepted me into their family without rules or reservations. They brought into this world the most amazing man and they shared him with me without limits... and for that I am eternally grateful. And then there are my friends and extended family. You carried me when I could not walk. You held my hand when the journey was too scary. You loved me when I felt broken. You guided me when I was lost. I am so thankful for my life...for the good times and the bad...Life is one big GPS system...with all of us following our own map. The difference is...whose voice do you listen to? Is it God's? I like to think that I am following God's voice as I navigate I cruise down the road hitting my speed bumps and pot holes. Yet I know that sometimes my faith starts to waver...starts to question this journey...starts to wonder why God chose this path for me. It is that those times that I return to the words written in scripture...."For God works for the Good..." My sweet Leah Faith are my hope. Not a day goes by that you are not in my soul. I am so frustrated that I cannot hold you right now...that I cannot kiss your sweet cheeks. I will never fully understand why you were mine for only a moment....I will love your long as I am living my baby you will be!!

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