I....

I am blessed...
and I LOVE my family!!

Our wonderful, love-filled weekend was music to my heart!!
I *Love* that my girls love their "sissy" they never met!! Anytime we asked them about the weekend they were quick to point out the purpose...Leah....

My life is blessed because my GOD is amazing....and He know the plans He has for us....

xoxoxo

Because of you...

Because of you, Leah Faith Davis,

I vow to be a better mother
I vow to be a better wife
I vow to be a better daughter
I vow to be a better sister
I vow to be a better friend
I vow to be a better teacher
I vow to be a better person
Because of you....and the gift that you were, are, have been, and will always be...the gift of you as my daughter! I held you for only a moment in my arms, but for a lifetime in my heart!

Because of you, we honor and celebrate your life and stillbirth...this weekend....on the 1st anniversary of our loss!!

Daddy, your sisters, and I piled into the car for a peaceful and serene weekend. We started the weekend with a visit to your tree...and my goodness was it ever so BEAUTIFUL!! Beautiful because of the pink flowers...and beautiful because of the love poured onto the tree from our friends. Our sweet loving friends decorated the tree with the most beautiful bows with delicate little crosses hanging from the bows!



Mommy and daddy were overwhelmed with love for you and for our amazing support system! After our visit to your tree, we headed to the coast for a two night stay in Bodega Bay. The weather was foggy, yet beautiful! We showered your sisters with love and attention as we spent the weekend focusing on our family...







We love you sweet Leah...and not a day goes by that you are not in our thoughts or on our hearts....we still dream of turning back time...

Happy 1st still-birthday Leah Faith Davis!!

Who am I?

All I can think of right now is the lyrics to a great song....

Who am I that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name...care to know my hurt?

I just cannot believe that I have lived my life for one year....one year post Leah!! I am feeling strange...feeling weird....not really knowing how to feel.

On one hand my heart aches with every fiber of my being...I feel so empty and lost...

On the other hand my heart is so full of love....and I feel so connected to our Lord...

And so, my journey continues....
And so, I have learned..."I'm a survivor!"
And so, I live...today, tomorrow, forever
I live as a woman who has loved...and loves....and hurts...yet has hope....
Hope for who I am because the Lord of all the earth does so really care to know my hurts....
And I live because Leah Faith Davis so deserves to be loved...and remembered...and honored....

Tomorrow I will stop...and I will love...and I will live for Leah....

And every day I will work to glorify and honor her through my actions, my thoughts, and my words....

Because yesterday, today and tomorrow....I will never forget...because she is and always will be my daughter...my baby...my third born child!!

WIth all that I am...with all that I will be...with all that I can...
I honor and love you Leah Faith Davis!!

One year ago....

One year ago today, the Dr. told me my baby was gone....
One year ago today, I checked into the hospital....
One year ago today, I cried a million tears....
One year ago today, my life change forever....

March

It is March....and every moment of every day is spent wondering....
What if?
What if my baby Leah were alive, in my arms....
What if I could hold her, hug her, snuggle her, kiss her....
What if this was all a bad dream....

These days are hard for me. Really hard. Many of my dear friends are pregnant and I am so happy for them. But it also makes my heart ache. My tears flow...for myself, and my loss, for my baby girl I will never get to hold. I wondered how this month would be for me. And now that it is here, I can honestly say it SUCKS!! I hate it...I wonder if I will always hate March.

And I also wonder if I will be a mama again. If I will be pregnant again. Not too sure. I just don't know if I can put my heart out their again. I am just too scared. AND yet, I trust the plans God has for me....but I wish they didn't hurt so much!!!

Remembering today....



My sweet baby girl, Leah Faith....with all my heart, all my soul, all my being.