~*~* Judea *~*~

Yesterday I had the honor and privilege of delivering gifts my school collected to a few families in need. One family has touched my heart and my life beyond words....Judea.... Judea is a beautiful boy with gorgeous eyes, beautiful curls, and the sweetest smile...and Judea should be a busy, running, jumping, singing 3 year old....but he is not. He is not a running, jumping, wild and crazy boy because while his mom was at school, his daycare provider gave him a grape...and he choked...and it got stuck....and he was without oxygen for 22 minutes. And...he lived!!! Yet, his life is not as his mother once new it to be...he is now paralyzed, brain damaged, and probably blind. Yet, he smiles, he laughs, he loves...because he LIVES! And sweet Judea and his amazing mom and brother are a reminder to me that it is not about me!!! Not about my trivial wants and needs!! See, Judea and his mom and brother live in a tiny one room in-law unit without furniture. Mom and big brother sleep on the floor and Judea gets to sleep in a crib. When we showed up yesterday with gifts, his mom was beyond words...despite her life...and loss, she is so grateful to GOD for allowing her to be Judea's mom. For allowing her to have a baby still to hold!! Because as she told me....at least I have my baby....at least he didn't die...WOW!! If only we could all take the time this day and tomorrow to thank the LORD for all of the "at leasts" in our lives!! Yesterday I was blessed with the opportunity to meet a true miracle...a true blessing from above!! Merry Christmas to all....

To read more about Judea go to http://www.mercurynews.com/news/ci_11292810

~Welcome to the World~

Sweet baby boy!!! You were born today to the most amazing parents!! Will you have your mama's smile and your daddy's eyes? Will you love to play ball?? Or will you prefer to read books?

The world awaits you....you are a miracle and we are all so blessed to call you our own!! You have the most amazing mommy and daddy who love you beyond words. They have patiently waited for today...waited to hold you in their arms. You are entering a family filled with love....love and loss. Sadly, your grandpa and cousin are watching over you in heaven, guiding you gently into this world, and providing you with love from afar. You are so lucky to join a family filled with a brother and sister who love you so much. They can't wait to play cars, chase, and baseball with you...can't wait to tease you and love you, tickle you and snuggle you. Oh, sweet baby, the world is at your finger tips...your cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles can't wait to cover you with kisses, fill you with love, and snuggle you for hours. But most importantly, our little miracle, the Lord, your God has sent you to be a gift to all of us...to open our hearts and minds to HIS love, grace, hope, and joy...to open our lives to His path...His journey....His plans. May you be His beacon of light in our lives...may you bring love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control to all of us who love and have been awaiting your arrival!! We love you sweet baby....Welcome to the world....and may your days be filled with dancing and your nights be filled with sweet dreams!!

We love you to the moon and back....

The Ice Rink...

Tonight we took the girls to the ice rink to take in a little winter cheer, a little winter memory...a little winter chill. We took the girls ice skating...Caroline's first time, Ella's second time. As I watched the girls skate at their varying speeds, varying levels of fear and in trepidation, varying levels of joy and gusto, I got to thinking about my life. Since the day I was born, I have always been a go-getter, a woman on a mission, a person with passion. I have always been the person to take an idea and RUNNNNNNNN with it!!! Now, I am in no way fearless...I DETEST roller coasters and skiing because I do not like feeling out of control. I don't like to drink alcohol to the point of not being in control....NOPE, this mama likes to be grounded...Large and IN charge Marge!! But, I digress, I have always been a person who takes the bull by the horns. And as I watched the throngs of skaters each attacking this adventure with their own levels of gusto and trepidation, I got to thinking about my life. I try to be the ever optimistic, always seeing the joy in the pain, the gift in the loss, the miracle in the moment...always trying to see the rainbow through the storm. I get passionate about serving other, serving the LORD with all of my heart, all of my soul, and all of my mind. And yet, today I realized that the Lord has laid before me another lesson to be learned...and it is not a lesson I am comfortable learning. The Lord has laid before me the need to minister to others we are unable to see the joy and blessings of their life. Those who are so wrapped up in their own unhappiness that they cannot realize the gifts in their life. And that...is the scariest job I have...the job of being a loving, patient friend in the midst of my own life. See, 9 months ago the Lord gave me a swift kick in the butt, and He ever so gently reminded me that I need to be thankful for the gifts in my life. I need to not take for granted the gifts He has given to me...although at the time I did not see them as gifts. Losing a child is the most painful experience for a parent....holding your stillborn daughter in your arms rips your heart out and makes you want to question the Lord. Yet, from that moment onward I have worked hard to keep my faith...to embrace the Lord with all of my heart...to be thankful for my blessings. And yet through this struggle to maintain my focus on Him, the Lord has called me again...He has asked me to reach out and help others to recognize the blessings in their lives....and so tonight, I ask you to take the time to list the blessings....to focus on the gifts...to live in the PRESENT and not in the future or the past. To live in the here and now and not in a fantasy...to recognize that a life devoid of joy is a sad and lonely life...a life where no one wants to "know" your name....So in the midst of the suffering in our world, the fear in our economy, the uneasiness in the job markets, the lack of health in our lives I ask you to focus on the gifts and blessings the Lord has given to you....
Do you have a job? Then be thankful because so many people are desperate for employment!!
Do you have a roof over your head? Then be thankful because there are people right now curling up in a FREEZING alley or doorway.
Do you have healthy children? Then be thankful because there are mamas right now holding their dying babies for the last breath...there are other women desperate for a positive pregnancy test....
Do you have a loving husband? Then be thankful because there are women right now suffering the abuse of their spouse!
Are you able to get up and walk across the room? Then be thankful because there are people who will never have the use of their limbs!
Can you see or hear? Then be thankful because there are people who will never get to hear their child's voice or see their beautiful eyes!

EVERY day we have a choice to embrace our blessings and gifts or to cast our eyes onto our fantasies!! How are you going to choose to live? In the PRESENT (which is a gift) or in a dream or fantasy? My prayer is that we can all sit down and examine our lives and if we are really not happy then we need to make a change!!! I can tell you right now that I am thankful for: I am thankful for my loving LORD who has blessed me with an amazing family, a job I love, friends who care about me, and Savior to call my own...and that my friends is all I need for Christmas!!!

So next time you lace up those skates, I urge you to think about how you embrace life? DO you go through it with Joy and Gusto? With fear and trepidation? With bitterness and regret? With envy and spite? If you answered the first one...then please pray that the Lord will bless you with an opportunity to share that JOY and GUSTO with someone who is lost and needs your road map!

Lord, I pray that you will allow me to be a beacon of light to a lost and weary traveller. Allow my joy and love to spill over into their lives. Allow me to be patient with my duties and to find peace in the process. Please help me to overcome my feelings of frustration with others when they do not see the blessings in their life. Allow me to be the fruit of your spirit...and allow the pain of my life to be a blessing to anther person's life. Allow my daughter, Leah Faith, to have a purpose...and allow me to dutifully serve you in the process of fulfilling her purpose! Amen!!

Mother Theresa once said....
"It is not how much we do...it is how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give...it is how much love we put in the giving."
~ May you put LOVE in your doing and giving today, this week, and always....

May you always LOVE what you are doing...and if not....then you have just 2 simple choices...make a change in your heart, or a change in your life!!

On another fabulous blog I love to follow....Bring the Rain...Angie posted the most BEAUTIFUL picture frame I have EVER seen!! It contains a quote from Albert Einstein that has changed my life....
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everyting is a miracle."

2000+ years ago a miracle happened in Bethlehem. Were the townspeople too busy to notice? Were they to caught up in their own needs and wants to realize? Were they to selfish to care? Did they even know that the Savior of the world was born in their neighborhood? I pray that I will be able to live my life as if every moment is a miracle. That the in utero life of my daughter and her stillbirth are a miracle....that the pain I feel every moment of every day is a miracle...that brings tears to my eyes...Let me live as though EVERY moment!! EVERY stinkin' moment of my life is a miracle!!! Lord...help me to stop, look, and listen....help me to recognize the beauty of the moment. Help me to be aware of your miracles...help me to be present in my life!!!!!!!

Here comes Santa Claus.....

We took the girls to see Santa tonight with their baby cousin Briana! We had a great evening filled with smiles and joy! I love the magic of wonder in their eye!!

Feeling sad...feeling weepy...

Tonight I sit here...with a sadness in my heart. The same sadness I feel everyday...yet today it is creeping up....into my evening....my normal energy and enthusiasm is not keeping my sadness hidden. I know my girl is in heaven...I can only imagine the joy and peace she feels....but darn it...I want her here with me. I want her enjoying the lights on the tree...I want to be dressing my 3 girls in matching dresses...I want to be kissing her sweet face....and I know one day I will...but it is so hard to wait...so hard to wonder...so hard to trust...so hard to be patient. I want her here today!! My sweet Leah Faith Davis ~ you are the only gift I want for Christmas. And yet, as I feel as though I am sinking....losing my focus, my faith, I am constantly reminded to fix my eyes upon the Lord and TRUST in Him, TRUST in His purpose, Trust in His path....Trust in His GLORY!!! Trust that He know the plans He has for me....knows the plans for my family...my heart...my womb...my babies....I pray that the God of all hope may give me the strength to fix my eyes on HIM, focus on the purpose of this season...the real meaning of Christmas....I pray that when my hearts starts to weep that I will find the peace that comes from being in the moment...being with my girls...enjoying the beauty of this month...this season...this year....my baby girl....